Stay At Home Wives and Mothers: Are You Wasting Your Life?

I Was Wasting My Life

When I married my husband I was 18 and working at our local bank as a teller and making very little. Before we got married we decided that I would quit my job, forego going to school, and stay home and work with him. For those of you who don’t know, we own a cattle ranch.

For 6 years, until I had our first child, I made every step he made then came home and did my housework and cooking. I wasn’t making any money myself, but I was working my butt off helping him achieve his dreams.

At the time many people thought I was wasting my life because I chose to stay home and support my husband instead of going to college and doing something with my life.  Family members and other women I met, who didn’t see what we were doing day in and day out, judged me because I wasn’t working away from home.

Since then, we’ve had 4 children and we’ve grown that little operation into a business that not only supports us, but supports many families of the men who work for us.

Stay At Home Wives and Mothers: You’re Not Wasting Your Life.

Your doing the hardest, most fulfilling job in the world and supporting your husband and family in many other ways. Whether your a stay at home (childless) wife, a stay at home mom, or both. Just because your not bringing home the bacon doesn’t mean you’re wasting your life.

Wives-

Ephesians 2:18 reads “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

In Hebrew the word used for “helper” is ezer and it is a combination of two root ‘-z-r meaning “to rescue, to save” and ‘g-z-r meaning “to be strong” [1] The noun ‘ezer occurs twenty-one times in the old testament. In many passages it is used alongside words which clearly indicate strength or power.

Isn’t this empowering? We are to be our husband’s strength, his power. God made a power or strength suitable for him.

Every marriage and family is different. If helper in your marriage means you go out and work, then that’s great. If helper means you stay home and help your husband build his business (be his strength); or stay home and keep the house while he works and be his strength when he comes home to a well kept house, that’s great also.

Proverbs 14:1 reads, “Every wise woman builds her house.”

The hebrew word for house and home is the same. The preferred word for this verse would be home because we all know not every house is a home. So, who builds her home? The woman. If you’re a stay at home wife, this is your job. Building your home. Setting the atmosphere and mood for your home.

Mothers-

The feminism movement that was meant to empower and free women actually did the opposite and enslaved women to an idealistic perfectionism that we all try to attain. Perfection is thrown at us from every angle. We don’t have to do it all and do it perfectly to be validated in this world. Our career should not be our validation.

My favorite parenting verses is what Moses told the Israelites while giving them the 10 commandments.

Deuteronomy 6:6,7  “These commandments that i give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home, and when you walk along the road, when you lie down, and when you get up.”

This is a huge commandment; an important commandment. This is plainly telling us to talk to our children all day to impress His commandments on them. How are we to impress upon them God’s word when we are not with them but a few hours throughout the day?

Your job of staying at home with your children is the greatest gift you could give your family. Not only are you laying the ground work for all their years to come, but you are giving your children security no money could buy.

Working Women-

I am not writing this to shame you. Please, please don’t take that from this. Just because this post is aimed at stay at home women doesn’t mean you can’t take something from it.

Whether your working or staying home your job is still the same and just as important. It’s just a change in lifestyle. You won’t have as many hours “building your home”, but it doesn’t mean you can’t. You can’t spend all day with your family, but you can still impress God’s word on your children and support your husband.

We women are notorious for tearing each other down with judgements and harsh criticisms. How about we start lifting each other up and supporting one another for our differences in life. Your way is not the only right way.

One More Thing…

I love all women and want you all to be the best wives, mothers, friends, sisters, and daughters that you can be. This is not an argument as to what lifestyle is the best. I hope what you get out of this is encouragement and love in a world of harsh judgement.

[1] Hard Sayings of the Bible by Walter C. Kaiser, Jr., Peter H. Davids, F. F. Bruce, Manfred Brauch